I’m Not Drunk, I’m Autistic: The Origin Story

Some of you may be wondering the origin story of the name I’m Not Drunk, I’m Autistic. It goes a little something like this…

Let me paint a picture. My walking style is very special. I, for some odd reason, have amazing balance when I dance or do yoga. But when I walk, I can’t keep my balance. I often stumble around. I also have horrible depth perception, so I walk into walls or objects constantly. I for sure look like I just staggered out of a liquor cabinet a good majority of the time.

I was at work one day and just doing my thing. I worked at the library at the time, so I was shelving books. I managed to trip over thin air, smash into a bookcase, and plummet to the ground. A typical injury for me, so I wasn’t fazed at all. A little child watched me through this whole ordeal. As I am lying on the floor, trying to get up without passing out, (I have another fun condition called POTS), she stood over me and asked me if I was drunk. I pulled myself off the floor, looked at her, and said, “I’m not drunk. I’m autistic.” Then I turn around, put on some imaginary sunglasses, and strode off confidently into the distance. Bam. Movie moment. The reality is that I said the phrase, adjusted my now askew glasses, and stumbled off to my next task. But, hey. In my head, I was a total badass.

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