I am so grateful to be starting a new family. Right now, I’m working on having less and less communication with my birth family. Honestly, the only reason I’m still around is the fact that my car is in their name and I’m not in a financial position to change that. They said once the car is paid off, they’re putting it in my name. So basically, I have a year left to deal with them. I know all of this sounds cold hearted, but hear me out.
I’ve talked before about their abuse during my childhood, so I’m going to focus on the present. They still treat me like complete shit. Their idea of being supportive is sharing something on Facebook instead of attending the actual event. They care more about how they look to other people than how they look to me. Sadly, that’s always been the case.
My mom has also created crippling body dysmorphia in me. She is terrifed of becoming overweight and fat shames people. She’s only 130 lbs, by the way. I’m a curvy gal, always have been. Therefore, to my mother, I can’t wear tank tops, shorts, crop tops etc, but my 120 lb sister can leave the house in basically her underwear and my mom tells her she looks fantastic. I am finally getting over my body image issues. There are still times I look in the mirror and see someone 3 times my size, but for the most part, I love the way I look. My husband has been the main reason for this and I can’t thank them enough.
My dad is a wee bit better, but not by much. He makes horrible comments about my husband’s masculinity and he doesn’t even know about the gender fluid thing. He’s just a dick. He also has told me that he would rather my partner cheat on me than be bad with money. Pretty fucked up thing to tell a 16 year old. They both treat me like a financial transaction and belive that if they throw money and things at me, that counts as love. I have some shit about my sister, but that’s a whole nother blog post.
So, yeah. My parents suck and I don’t want to deal with them anymore. They make me feel like I don’t count as a real person and I don’t deserve that.